Ode to My Wedding Ring on Our 7th Anniversary

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My wedding ring is just a white gold band, no diamond or precious stones. Daniel and I couldn’t figure out the whole engagement ring AND a wedding band thing. (Why? I still don’t get it!) So a sweet thin band is all I have and it’s exactly what I wanted.

When we were discussing rings, I was concerned about blood diamonds and worried I would lose a fancy bejeweled ring (I cannot keep track of jewelry). So, I specified “no diamonds.”

This precious tiny gold band is sturdy and strong, like I hope my marriage will always be. And it reminds me that when we were married, we were 20 and 21 (babies!) and couldn’t afford chairs for our apartment, much less diamonds. We sat on pillows around a wooden tabletop Daniel made propped up on flower pots. We had an air mattress because we couldn’t afford a real bed and we ate a lot of pasta that first year because we couldn’t afford meat. Like the poor newlyweds Motel and Tzeitel in Fiddler on the Roof you could have said of us, “They’re so happy, they don’t know how miserable they are!

I love my ring because I always want to remember that this life together is what I signed up for: for richer, for poorer. I want to remember that marriage isn’t always glamorous, sparkling, or blissful. Sometimes it feels nothing like a honeymoon and a whole lot like exhausting work. And something it’s just there. Not exciting, not painful, just there. And you can only strive to hold on through the difficult times. But my prayer it that it will always be steady and present, like a promise, like my sturdy, simple wedding band. I love my little ring. I love my life with this man.

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Comments

  1. says

    Happy Anniversary! My ring is similar in that it isn’t very flashy and definitely represents where we were in our lives when we got married. I have always loved simple gold wedding bands.

  2. says

    I have a simple thin white gold wedding band, too! It is very understated and it doesn’t scratch my baby!

    So many people tell me they don’t want to get married young because they don’t want to be poor. My husband and I got married when I was 20 and he was 23, while I was still in college. We didn’t have any time or money to even take a weekend trip or eat meat every night. But we learned to love each other better than we would have been able to otherwise.

  3. says

    Excellent post! So much better to sing an “ode” to your simple ring, rather than your bank be “owed” for huge payments, by you, for the extravagant ring. In the former, you own the ring. In the latter, the ring owns you.

    “Owe no man anything but love.”

  4. says

    I feel exactly the same way! I have a thin gold band with the diamond from my engagement ring ( that broke and I was glad!). It is also so nice when nursing – I used to accidentally scrape my babies’ faces when I’d latch them on. Not anymore!!

  5. Melissa says

    I could almost have written this, except that my husband and I are coming up on 34 years in a few days! We were 21 and 23 when we were married. Practically nobody who knew us thought it was a good idea. Some of them are divorced now, so maybe their criteria weren’t sound . . . but anyway, I remember when we had a double mattress that I had found curbside and when everything else that we got together was either acquired from friends, curb-shopped, or from yard sales.

    We aren’t rich (financially) now, but we are happy where God has put us. We’re rich in what counts—our steady, through-thick-and-thin marriage; our four wonderful children; and our five (and counting!) grandchildren.

    God bless you and your family! And best wishes for a safe and speedy childbirth!

      • Melissa says

        Thanks! Oh, and we have plain gold wedding bands that my husband’s brother made for us. I never did like diamonds, so my husband got me a tigereye engagement ring, but it caught on everything, so I don’t wear it any more.

        A family friend once asked me if we wanted to “upgrade” our rings. Well, some people do that . . . each to his/her own!

  6. says

    Happy anniversary! We got married young too! Your story totally resonates with mine. I had crazy ideas of what I wanted in a ring, got it, then hated it. I didn’t wear a ring for a good 5 years of our marriage because it always got in the way and it didn’t define our relationship anyway [when you are married at 20 and have a kid at 21 everyone already knows]. I now wear a ring that belonged to my husband’s grandmother and I love it. Our marriage is so much more than that ring and while it’s a symbol of the life we built together there is so much beyond what the eye can see.

    • Haley says

      I’ve always loved the idea of a vintage family ring! I hopped over to your blog and love it! Looks like we have a lot in common in the chicken department :)

  7. Marissa says

    I just have to say thank you so much for your blog. I was about to completely give up on Facebook because I would always come away sad and disappointed in people. I recently added you to my feed and your posts are the highlight of my week. I have one more month until my third child, so I eagerly await your newborn along with mine. I can also relate to you in I was also 20 when married and am an NFP instructor with my spouse. Thank you so much for your posts. Your time and contributions give me great joy! God bless!

  8. says

    Happy Anniversary!!

    I had to have my small diamond rings cut off while I was still nursing my first, so I replaced it with a thin sterling silver band. I wish we would have done this in the beginning! I love my simple little band so much more that my rings still sit unfixed. Simple and sturdy is best! Blessings friend!!

  9. says

    Happy Anniversary!

    I also have a simple (yellow) gold band for my wedding ring and I just adore it. It is not a statement of our family’s wealth, it is not a fashion statement or accessory; it is simple, functional and beautiful like we work for our marriage to be. It may build up scratches and patina, but I’m pretty sure we will too.

    Every time I see another woman with a simple wedding ring, I feel a special sort of simple kinship with them : )

  10. says

    Thank you for this! I admit, I love elegance and struggle with having to live within a much smaller budget as a newlywed than I did growing up. My husband is wonderful and calls me to holiness with patience and care as I try to resist living beyond our means (so easy to do!). I can get bummed out about how much we have to pass up sometimes or the ways we have to scrape things together, but I really love what you quoted about Motel and Tzeitel. I hope to live up to that. My husband and I are so happy together and it puts everything else into perspective. God bless.

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