Today’s Attitude Shift

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I’ll spare you all the details, but it’s been over 6 weeks since all four members of our family were well at the same time. We’ve passed around a terrible cough, Benjamin’s asthma has been bad, and now Lucy has the cough/fever. And here’s the thing, having sick children completely exhausts me. Sure, the bajillion night wakings due to illness wear me out (I think last night’s count was 4 wakings for Benjamin and 6 for Lucy) but I also find caring for my sick babies emotionally exhausting. I keep second guessing myself.  Do they need to see the pediatrician?  Is this just a little bug that will pass or something more serious? Will the Dr. try to give them antibiotics they don’t need? Is that a cough from congestion or a wheezy asthma cough?  I worry about my sick babies and I get exhausted from dealing with the constant crankiness a sick 3-year-old exudes after several days of being cooped up and sick.

When Daniel was leaving this morning at 7am, I told him, “I don’t know if I can do this again today. I don’t know if I can make it til bedtime.

It was one of those mornings that you’re so tired that it just hurts to be awake. Maybe part of the reason I felt grumpy was that I was woken up in the middle of a weird dream that I was being chased by centaurs and giants (that’s what I get for falling asleep to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on audiobook, amirite?!).

I poured myself a cup of coffee and saw that we had leftover heavy whipping cream from last night’s pasta recipe and went for it. (Mmmm) I was generally bemoaning how hard my task as a mother has been for the past couple of weeks. Then it hit me: I get to stay home and care for my sick babies. I don’t have to leave them with anyone else and worry about how they’re faring, whether Lucy’s fever is higher or whether Benjamin’s breathing is more labored. I get to be here. I don’t have to scramble to make arrangements because they’re too sick to go to daycare. I don’t have to find a sub or do remote work from home to make up for not being at the office. I just get to take care of my sick babies. And that shift changed everthing.

I lit a candle and put on the Cheiftains because Lucy loves to dance to their music. And the sweet girl danced even though she has a fever of 101.5. We snuggled down with blankets and read picture books. Lucy nursed back to sleep and Benjamin and I made a big breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast while she napped.

I decided to say “no” to  feeling sorry for myself and saying yes to the following today:

  • “Will you snuggle with me?”
  • “Will you sing me a song?”
  • “Can you read to us?”
  • “Can I watch a movie?”

Sweet girl is a little more clingy and a little more sleepy from whatever bug/virus has been running rampant in our house. But still the world’s sweetest baby despite feeling icky.

And I’m going to remember that I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but right here. Right now. And also that the day will be a success if everyone survives until Daddy gets home.

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Comments

  1. Sarah says

    I know how exhausting sick littles are! Hope you are hanging in there today, I am praying health for your family. And thank you for writing this today, I needed to read it :)

  2. LMM says

    I always say that my worst day at home with my children is still better than my best day away from them. (speaking as someone who is on her second 20+ hr day in the office away from the little ones.). So I think you have it exactly right. Hang in there, mama!

  3. Megan says

    I think you had one thing right even before your attitude shift. You couldn’t do it again today. Only grace from the Lord makes it possible! I’m feeling that way about the seemingly insurmountable pile of tasks I have on my plate right now, and realizing I really can’t do it all actually makes me feel better. I don’t have to do it all, I just have to trust God to provide exactly what I need. Praying wellness for your bunch.

    • Haley says

      Thank you, Lynn! We’re getting there. Found out Miss Lucy has an ear infection and that her cough/fever are just due to a little virus. Hopefully a good night of sleep tonight? We’ll see :)

  4. says

    I just love this! Sometimes we forget how blessed we are, and that we should be making the minutes count – not counting the minutes! Thank you so much for reminding me of this :) I needed it!

    Really hoping everyone in your family is well soon. Keeping you in my prayers!

    • Haley says

      Thank you, Miriam! B is coughing much less. Asthma is getting under control. And L’s fever is going down. Dr. recommended antibiotics for her ear infection so at least that should be clearing up soon (although, I hate having to resort to antibiotics!). Thanks for the well wishes!

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