Making Romance a Priority (Or, How We’re Bad at Valentine’s Day)

This post is sponsored by Melt.

Daniel and I are terrible at Valentine’s Day. Just the absolute worst. I think the last time we actually planned something for it was the first year we were dating (2003?) and what we planned was watching Disney’s Robin Hood. So…yeah…not great at Valentine’s.

We’ve tried to plan a date night for Valentine’s, but with three little ones it gets tricky. And then fancy dinner plus paying a babysitter is rough on a tight budget. Inevitably, one of the kids will spike a fever right before the babysitter comes over and the plans are shot.

Then I start to think, perhaps we lived the lives of landed British nobility, romance could be more accessible.

If I could have Nanny bring in the children for hugs and a pat on their heads before sending them off for a stroll around the extensive grounds while Daniel, or in this case, Lord Stewart, Earl of Bearman (is that how titles work?) and I packed our bags for a romantic getaway to London for the weekend.

“What’s a weekend? Romantic getaways to London are not for the likes of you.”

You are so right, Dame Maggie Smith.

So while I always get inspired when writers like Hallie Lord emphasize the importance of nurturing romance in your marriage, I usually draw a blank when brainstorming practical ways to do so in our season of life. But I think giving up is a mistake.

While I firmly believe the definition of sexy post-kids changes from romantic date to waking up with the baby so your spouse can sleep in, I think there has to be room for romance. Like, something beyond putting the kids to bed early so you can eat soup on the couch while watching Man in the High Castle on Amazon Prime.<–actual recent date night of ours. I mean, it was enjoyable, but I think we can step up our game. The question is how to make it happen?

And y’all, I think I found something that will work. I’d seen a few of my friends recommend the videos by Melt: Massage for Couples. Hold up. Did you just say, COUPLES MASSAGE, HALEY? I know, I know, couple massage sounded weird to me, too, so it took me forever to try out the videos.

I knew the videos were short so it wasn’t a huge time commitment but I was a little hesitant because I wasn’t sure if they would be awkward or make me uncomfortable. So I watched a few without Daniel just in case they were totally weird. But they were decidedly not weird! The tutorials were simple. Nothing was awkward. Everyone was fully clothed and respectable and the techniques were simple.

In my opinion, Melt strikes the perfect balance of promoting romance and intimacy with your spouse without being uncomfortable/weird or going a step beyond sexy to gross or tacky.

So, I pitched the idea to Daniel and we tried it, following the advice about where to set up your massage (not where I expected!), how to set up the room for a massage, how to use massage oil, and how to give your spouse a back massage. It was the best massage Daniel has ever given me! It was so nice and it really was romantic. It’s just hard not to turn your face to kiss your spouse when you’re cheek to cheek and they’re giving you an amazing massage. It think it’s a great way to spend time together, talk, and connect on an intimate level (even when you’re in the middle of that month’s bummer phase of NFP.)

Honestly it can be hard to find resources on romance that don’t get all weird on you or cross the line into stuff that is against Church teaching. Because these videos aren’t about sex, they’re about massage, you don’t really have to worry about getting illicit sex advice. (The video about which massage oil to use does mention condoms but only to say, “hey when you use massage oil you it might not be safe for condoms so keep that in mind if your massage turns into something else.” And I’m all like, we’re Catholic! We can’t even use condoms! TMI? Just keeping it real in line with Church teaching.

MOVING ON. What I’m trying to say is I realized that for our season of life, maybe the perfect way to spend Valentine’s Day isn’t going out but staying in with romantic plans that are a step above soup and Amazon Prime. (We set the bar high.)

 

So if you’re in the same boat, busy lives, young kids in the house, no family in town for childcare, that sort of thing, I think Melt is a great resource to use on date nights. We’ve only made it through the basic back massage and the neck massage videos so there’s plenty to go (and a foot massage series that we haven’t started yet). So it should get us through date nights for awhile (and you get lifetime access, so there’s no rush).

And they even have a Valentine’s Day deal right now if you want to give your spouse Melt as a Valentine’s gift! But before I go into that, this is a cute story: the professional massage therapist who created Melt, Denis, actually used the techniques he shares when he was wooing his now wife, Emma. And Denis has a great Australian accent so they’re just an adorable couple in the videos! (And the videos are really high quality and beautifully filmed. They taught over 20,000 couples in more than 50 countries.)

I did spend a significant amount of time trying to figure out how to braid my hair in an updo like Emma’s. But that’s neither here nor there.

Here’s the series overview from Denis at Melt:

The Basic Series This series starts with correcting some of the most common massage mistakes and showing you the foundations of your massage with long, sweeping strokes. You watch the short videos with a technique or tip in each, and it ends with a 5 minute follow-along massage routine.

The Highlights Series This is where things start to get really good! You learn to look for the sore spots on each other’s bodies and how to work them. The neck, shoulders, lower back, arms, head… you’ll find places you didn’t even know that were sore! After you learn the 9 techniques from this series, there’s a 15-minute massage routine to follow along to. Hands still don’t hurt!

The Deep Tissue Series So many people, myself included, love Deep Tissue stuff but it shouldn’t by over-emphasized. Denis leaves these tips to the very end for good reason, but they are such good techniques. It ends with an epic 30-minute massage follow along massage routine.

Valentine’s Day Special…

This special promo is for Carrots readers! You’ll get lifetime unlimited access to the ENTIRE Melt video series AND they’re bundling the series with free access to the foot rub videos (usually $72!) Through February 14th, you get both for $99 instead of $171.

If you’re on a budget like us and looking for something special that will still make date night affordable, just think, if you split up the videos over three date nights at home, it works out to about $29/night. There’s no way we could get babysitting and dinner for that! Or $7.41 a night if you set up a massage date once a month.

What’s Included:

Lifetime accèss to:
– 17 Back Rub Techniques
– 3 Back Rub Routines (from Basic to Advanced)
– Foot Rub How To Video + Routine Video
– Massage IOU Printables
– 60 day money back guarantee + a Valentine’s Day gift voucher.

And Melt even offers a payment plan – ($22 per month, over 6 months)

Get instant access to your videos by clicking here

It’s a great option for sparking some romance. We celebrated our 10th anniversary last year. I’m really proud of us and grateful for our marriage. But as we begin edging toward “old married couple” I don’t want to leave passion behind. I want to keep prioritizing us because I think nurturing a strong marriage is the best things we can do for our whole family. (Also, I just saw La La Land so classic romance is on my mind.) It doesn’t have to be anything wildly complicated. It can be as simple as learning to give your spouse a really awesome back massage and committing to making your relationship a priority.

 

Grab the Melt deal or find out more here before the sale ends on Valentine’s Day and treat your spouse to a great gift!

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Melt: Massage for Couples. All opinions my own. I only share about products I love.