The church was dark but I could see the faces of my children illuminated by the light of their candles, lit from the Paschal candle. And my breath caught in my throat at how beautiful it was. This is the night, sang the priest from the Exsultet, an ancient chant only sung once a year, the night before Easter Sunday.
We have the ambitious, some might say foolhardy, tradition of bringing our children, ages 2-7, to the Easter Vigil Mass every year. It can be more than three hours long and begins after our kids’ bedtime, hence the possible foolhardiness. We prepare the kids by dressing them in their best and talking up what’s about to happen. First we’ll watch as the Paschal candle is lit from a big fire outside the church. Then we’ll hold candles in the dark church, hear the epic story of God’s salvation of humanity from the Scriptures, and then watch our new brothers and sisters in Christ be baptized and received into the Catholic Church.
Halfway through my son asked me in a whisper when the “water fight” would start. So I think we overhyped what happens after the baptisms when the priest walks around the church asperging the faithful with holy water. But it really is an exciting Mass and our kids do well despite the length of the Vigil.
This year we found ourselves back at the parish where we were received into the Church six years ago. Our first Easter Vigil there since that red letter night in 2010.
I had a great view of the statue of Our Lady that I stood next to when I was in line for my first confession. I remember trembling with anxiety over the 25 years of sins I was about to unleash upon the priest in the confessional and the prayer I sent up to the Blessed Mother was Please pray for me, Mary. Please pray that I don’t chicken out. Please help me do this.
I reached across my four-year-old daughter to grab my husband’s hand and we shared a look that contained the past six years of grace that our conversion has meant for our life together. This life we began in the same sacred space, six years ago.
As I watched the baptisms and confirmations, my heart was so full for each new Catholic. And not just the folks being received at our parish, but those entering full communion with the Church all over the world. Including people I get connected with through the blogosphere and have been emailing with and praying for–perhaps for months or years.
A woman asked me on social media why I would be so excited for people who are just “switching denominations.” “Why does it really matter? What does it change?“ she wondered. Perhaps I would have thought about conversion to Catholicism as a denominational change up a few years ago. But now, it’s hard to wrap my mind around that. So I had to think about how to answer her question.
From childhood to college I switched from Presbyterian to non-denominational to Episcopalian to Baptist. I was finding something to best fit my beliefs. I liked this about that church and that about another. What did it matter what the label was? And I don’t think I could have understood the huge shift in mindset that was to take place when we converted.
When we became Catholic, we were accepting the doctrine of the Church Christ instituted. Rather than finding a church to best suit us, we were making a promise to change ourselves to best suit the Church. We were saying “yes” to all her teachings, even the hard ones. Even the ones we’d have to turn our lives upside down to follow. We were entering full communion with that Church and receiving all the graces that flow from it. We were receiving the Precious Body and Blood of Jesus, an experience that I still cannot grasp for its beauty and gravitas.
The richness of the Catholic faith and the joy it brings to our lives isn’t something I can begin to tackle in the length of a blog post. But knowing that others are beginning the same journey thrills me. Catholic converts have not just switched denominations, they are coming face-to-face with Jesus as part of a community that stretches across the globe and into heaven. A community that goes back more than 2,000 years, unbroken. And Christ himself has promised that the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it.
I think that’s something to celebrate and all new converts, I rejoice with you. Welcome home!
As a convert from Protestantism (who did as much denomination jumping as you…if not more), this absolutely resonates with me. Well put!
Thanks, Heidi!
Lovely post! We are at the beginning of a conversion journey and I’m wondering how or why you chose to enter the Catholic Church rather than to become Orthodox. I read on your blog that you knew it would one or the other and that’s where we are at this point. I know that the response is probably bigger than the comment section but I’d love to hear any insight from your experience. Thanks!
Yeah, I don’t think I can cover all of that in the comments, Amy! I love many of the traditions of our Easter Orthodox brothers and sisters in Christ, but we do believe in the primacy of the Bishop of Rome and we love that we can find a Catholic parish anywhere in the world but it can be difficult to find an Orthodox parish in the U.S. and they can tend to be somewhat nationalistic (not always, of course) but very focused on being Greek or Russian, etc. That isn’t everything but just a few of the things we considered! My Bulgarian Orthodox college housemate introduced me to Our Lady for which I am ever grateful 🙂
Amy,
Chris is Risen! Truly He is Risen!
If you find yourself drawn to an Eastern Christian expression of the Faith, I encourage you to seek out an Eastern Catholic parish (also referred to as Byzantine Catholic or Greek Catholic). We share the same Eastern spirituality as our Orthodox Christian brothers & sisters, yet we are in communion with the Holy Father, Pope Francis. Eastern Catholics are the “other lung” lung of the Church, as the late St. John Paul II referred to us. We are fully & faithfully Catholic, yet retain the traditions/spirituality of the early Church as it originated & spread from the Middle East & Byzantium to the western world. May Our Lord guide you as you seek Him! God bless!
I wanted to pipe up to say that Pascha (Eastern Orthodox Easter) is May 1st this year, so you can score an additional vigil!
Christ is Risen!!! (Whispered from the depths of Lent…)
It’s so cool that you got to attend the Easter Vigil back at the parish where you were first received into the Church!! Happy Easter! And thanks for sharing this really beautiful reflection with all of us 🙂
It was really special!
Amen and Amen!!!! Christ established a Church. It is a joy to find it and to come home to it. I also had to confess 25 years of sins when I converted. The beauty of the Church continues to amaze me. May we all be one.
May we all be one, indeed!
As a cradle Catholic, your joy in the faith inspires me. What a beautiful post.
Thanks, Katherine!
As a craddle Catholic who only in the past few years has been awakened to the beauty of the Church…Thank You. It makes me sad that I spent my first 30 years oblivious to the amazing gift I was being offered everyday. This year was my first Vigil and it was BEAUTIFUL! My children were full of questions and in awe about very bit of the Vigil. I pray that I can help them to embrace the beauty of the Church now and to accept the gifts of grace and Love that flow from the faith.
It was my one year anniversary this year and we went to the Vigil with our 4 year old and 1 year. I throughly enjoyed it and we plan to go every year! It is such a wonderful experience.
This post really hit home and plan on sharing it!
My daughter and I both converted this Easter vigil! I still feel like I can’t quite put the experience into words. All I can say is that I’m so happy to be home!
Hooray! Welcome home!
I enjoyed this post so much. My family joined an Anglican church last year and I just love it. I’ve been reading about all the traditions and rituals that are new to me, and the readings have led me to read up on the Catholic church as well. So much beauty in the Catholic church that I never knew – and so much that I’ve always misunderstood!
I’m an Anglican convert, and I found Carrots for Michaelmas looking to create a liturgical lifestyle for my family too! I also really enjoy the articles on NFP.
I mentioned to my husband and some friends after the Vigil that seeing the Baptisms and Confirmations is like going to a wedding and remembering your marriage vows. My husband and I entered the Church off-cycle (October, the day on which we used to celebrate “Reformation Sunday” to add to the irony), but the Vigil still has the same effect. I love it so much.
And we left our 2 year-old with a friend that night since during Vigil rehearsal (we sponsored friends), he kept trying to hand his Thomas to our pastor. Perhaps next year we’ll follow your lead and be braver. 🙂
Thanks for this! Very well said! My family and I just came into the Church this Easter Vigil, and we are very grateful and excited to be home!
My husband and I came into the church just two short years before you and your husband. I couldn’t be more grateful to finally be home. We, too, attend the Easter Vigil every year and every year my heart explodes and the tears flow for those who are also coming home.
I love your blog and your love for our Mother church. Thank you!
My husband and I just joined the church during the Easter Vigil. Absolutely amazing night as were the events leading up to it, such as first confession. I thought I knew what that would be like having seen it in movies and on tv but I had no idea how emotional it would be and how God’s grace and mercy would wash over me. When I first started this journey I asked that you pray for me. Thank you for that!!
I just was received into full communion with the Catholic Church on Easter vigil of this year! I want to thank you so much for your faithfulness in blogging about your Catholic faith. Your blog was one of the ones that caused me to begin to dig deeper into the claims of Catholicism. As someone who took pride in not being affiliated with a church, the moment of standing in front of a congregation and proclaiming that I espoused as true all that the Church taught as revealed by God was incredible. And then, to receive what I could have only dreamed was true growing up – the body and blood of Jesus – it was overwhelming. I went back to my seat and cried. I am so, so thankful that I have found the fullness of the Christian faith! Thank you to you and all of the mommy bloggers that speak openly about why they are Catholic.
Oh Haley, beautiful heartfelt post. Happy Anniversary {{}}xx
Happy Easter!!!
I love this post. I also tried a few protestant denominations during my teen years through young adulthood. Switching from Evangelical, to Methodist to Episcopal was nothing like converting to Catholicism.
I share your LOVE of the Exultet! Just the first line sends a thrill through me.
Partly because it is so beautiful and such a sacred night, but also because learning about the Catholic understanding of salvation history is is what finally made the bible make sense to me and made Catholicism undeniably the “fullness of truth.”
Wonderful post! As someone who joined the church during the Easter Vigil and helps guide others through this same process, it really is a wonderful night full of many wonders. There’s so much to be said about also finding the right church to really introduce you into the family. There are many ways that the love of God can be expressed and have people keep on coming back for more.
I always get so emotional during Easter vigil, too. In part at what it means for the newly received, and in part what it’s meant for me since my conversion 14 years ago. Hands down, the absolute BEST decision of my life. My spouse & kids are wonderful, but choosing Him & His Church will always remain first. So very many graces. Such immense blessing. Truly home and at peace.
Beautiful post!
I was confirmed this last Saturday. I had a hard time finding the words to announce it on my blog. May I quote you on my blog with a link to this post?
I’m a convert from Methodism via evangelical/non-denominationalism :). I love how you described the difference in becoming Catholic as changing yourself to fit the church. So true!
Hi hayley, I’m the woman who left that comment. Just wanted to clarify a few things-
I, too, have had to change myself to fit Christianity. Protestantism isn’t “comfortable” for me, and I acknowledge I am no more right with God than any catholic. Thanks for clarifying your POV, I appreciated the mature discussion. However, I’m a little uncomfortable about the insinuation that the rituals of Catholicism bring Catholics closer to God. (not necessarily written by you, but some of your fb followers). We should focus more on what we have in common, which is Jesus, because He is more powerful than any ritual, and His love can mend any schism.
I hope you had a blessed Easter- however you celebrate it- with your beautiful family 🙂
Hi Renee! Thanks for chiming in 🙂 The thing is, Catholics believe that sacraments like the Eucharist (Holy Communion), Baptism, Confession, etc are much more than rituals. They are the ways that Jesus pours his grace out on us. They are powerful, not in competition with Christ, but only BECAUSE of Christ. These are ways we encounter Jesus and they DEFINITELY bring us closer to God. Without the Eucharist (receiving Jesus) I would be lost! Furthermore, I think “ritual” can be used to imply that something is dry or meaningless. I say “I love you” to my husband whenever I hang up the phone. It’s a ritual. Sometimes I might not even think about it. But that doesn’t make it meaningless. Human beings thrive on ritual! Ritual points us to truths. I think it’s great to focus on what we have in common! We believe in the Trinity! We believe that only Jesus brings salvation to the world. But to ignore what my Catholic faith has brought to my life rather than sharing it with others would be impossible for me. And my prayer is always that schism would end and that the Church would be united again. Wishing you a very blessed Eastertide 🙂
We attended the Easter Vigil this year for the first time since our conversion three years ago and it really was SO WORTH staying up past our usual bedtime. Our church has a very well established RCIC program due to its work with adoption of older children and there were at least ten children being received into the church that night alongside the adult converts. It was incredibly beautiful to see.
Lovely post! This Easter was my 9th anniversary since I converted! 🙂
Hi Haley,
I’ve been reading this, and other, Catholic blogs for some time, during a period when I was discerning converting to Catholicism (from Anglicanism). I can truly say that your blog and some others (Catholic All Year, A Blog for My Mom etc.) were instrumental in my decision to convert. I was received into the Church this year at the Easter Vigil.
All this talk of feeling like you’re “coming home” kind of made me balk before – a bit too sentimental for my sensibility! – but I can truly say that, since that night, I have had a profound and abiding sense that I’ve found my true home in the Catholic Church.
Thanks for the post!
Gina
I’m a recent convert from evangelicalism and this post really captures how I feel about Easter vigil too, and all the new converts that I get to say “welcome home” to this year.
Great post. I am a convert from Protestantism and was confirmed last night. So exciting to begin a new life in Christ!
This is beautiful said. My husband and I converted two years ago with three little kids. As I’m learning more about the saints and the liturgical year better, our kids are learning right beside me. My husband has been very patient with me since he wanted to convert 8 years prior to when we did. Enjoying your blog post and following you on Instagram. And I love the saint blocks you posted about on Instagram this morning/or was it yesterday morning. ?