The Quotable Benjamin

A collection of Benjamin quotes from the past year. Enjoy.

“I’ll see you later, mama! In like…one minute ago, ok?”

“What is being?”

“I want to put broccoli on the Christmas tree.”

“I want some candy next to me.”

“There’s an elephant.” (Benjamin pointing to an animal on Daniel’s shirt).

“I think it’s a moose.” (Daniel)

“I think it’s a dragon.” (Benjamin)

“There were big dinosaurs and there were little dinosaurs. Benjamin is turning the page. There we go! Good job!”

“I want to go to Christmas.”

“It’s bright outside. I need some sunglasses. Not Sun Chips. Sunglasses.”

Benjamin’s Christmas requests: “a camel and a baby dinosaur.”

Benjamin talking to himself as he settles in for naptime: “kick peoples…no. kick doggies…no. kick dinosaurs! yep!”

I couldn’t figure out why Benjamin got so excited when I told him we were going to the bank until he started jubilantly chanting “Mr. Banks house!” and I realized he thought we were going to see Mary Poppins.

“The tag on the back of my undies is bothering me. Can you cut it off? But please, DON’T CUT MY BOTTOM!”

Benjamin thinks that Drosselmeier is the main character of the Nutcracker. “First he makes stuff in his workshop, then he goes to see what the ballerinas are up to. Those ballerinas are all over the place!”

“But it doesn’t even TASTE like eggs. It tastes like ICE CREAM, Mama! Should we change the name to AppleNog? What do you think, Mama?” – Benjamin on EggNog

“I have lots of nicknames for Lucy. Like Luce-Luce-Lucy, and Diddle-diddle-dumpling, and cow-cow-cow-bookshelf.”

“Is the Nutcracker a robot? Does he have grappler hands or people hands?”

“Mama, enjoy your fruit and be thankful with it!”-Benjamin after handing me all of the wooden play food.

“Bolts, washers, and nuts will roll; they will get away from you! But why do they call them “washers?” They are not like “washers” to wash clothes or to wash our hands.”

“Oh, Lucy, I love your little feetsies!”

“Wouldn’t it be funny if my fork had two orange ears?”

“The past tense of poop is poopt!” – Benjamin, grammarian

“The chicken needed to get the egg out. So, she sat down on the ground and pooped it out!” (How/Why Chickens Lay Eggs, by Benjamin)

“I built this crane out of duplos all by myself because I’m a crane boy!”

“Actually, Mama, I’d prefer not to get a spanking, please.”

“I want to go to Hogwarts someday.”

“Here mama, I made you some alien juice. If you don’t like it, you can try this walrus juice.”

Benjamin checked “the time” on my ipod and informed me that it’s “thirty o’clock.”

Benjamin is playing pretend sheep farmer. He is giving his sheep a special treat of chocolate milk “because they’ve been such good listeners today.”

Things Benjamin is pretending to do this morning with sticks, logs, and his tool set: “Sawin’ up a good Christmas Tree” and “Makin’ a Chicken House.” (But only after his “backhoe and crane work is done.”)

“I know what we should name my baby sister.”

“What, Benjamin?”

“Granola. Or Lucy Granola.”

“I want a little black puppy dog and I want to name him Licorice.”

“What would you do with your dog, Benjamin?”

*Pause*

“Poop. I’d poop with him.”

“The birds are singing because they’re happy!”

“Why are the birds happy, Benjamin?”

“Because you’re (I’m) being so respectful to mama!”

“The grass is happy today! Because it got a haircut!”

“I would like a garbage truck and a crane, please. Not the toy kind. The BIG kind.”

Benjamin’s pre-nap reflections overheard: “what a jam jamboree! never need a reason, never need a rhyme, never need a reason, step in time. happy birthday to you! christmas…mama, i’m NOT SLEEPY!”

“We’re not going outside right now, Benjamin.”

“But Mamaaaaa! I wanna hear the birds sing!”

(we obviously went outside)

Pre-bedtime reflections: “heaven and nature sing! joy to the world! ink rhymes with sink! ink sink! haha! mama? mamaaaaa!? heaven and nature sing! farmer brown has cows. sigh….we’ll play tomorrow.”

“I’m gonna make the prettiest backhoe for you, mama.”

“Macaroni and cheese comes from macaroni penguins.”

“This plesiosaurus needs some potatoes to eat!”

“Big Foot likes cookies! Actually, Big Foot likes Gingersnaps!”

*Benjamin pretends he is on the phone*

“Who are you calling, Benjamin?”

“Baby Jesus!”

“What’re you gonna tell him?”

“Merry Christmas!”