I get frequent questions about and requests for updates on how we do Natural Family Planning. It’s ok, I really don’t mind. That’s what I get for running a long series on NFP. Because while you can read about statistics and methods all day, sometimes it helps just to hear about a real person’s experience.
Does our experience look like everyone else’s? No. There’s definitely a spectrum and we fall somewhere in the middle. While we’ve never had difficulty conceiving, using NFP to postpone pregnancy has been relatively easy and “successful.”
Since we have not struggled with infertility, we haven’t experienced the same challenges as friends who use NFP to increase their likelihood of conceiving or to help them learn more about why they are suffering from infertility, subfertility, or multiple miscarriages.
We also haven’t faced the same challenges as friends who have been trained in multiple methods of NFP but have still struggled to space pregnancies. So while it’s been pretty smooth sailing for us, I know it’s far more difficult for others.
So our experience is just that–our experience. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can share what things look like for us.
I’m not here to defend our family planning decisions and I won’t be debating with anyone in the comments about what qualifies as serious reasons to child space and what doesn’t. But I think sharing our experience will help give others a sense of what life looks like with NFP–something that I really appreciated hearing about as we were coming around to this facet of Catholic faith.
So here’s some background:
It wasn’t until after our 3rd baby was born that we actually learned a method of NFP. (Baby #1 was an unexpected blessing before we converted to Catholicism and babies 2 and 3 were conceived during a “whatever happens is great!” season of life.)
While all three pregnancies were difficult in the morning sickness department. Pregnancy 3 was by far the worst. Vomiting through all 9 months. Constant nausea and faintness. And finally, needing to take some heavy duty meds so that I could keep water down and regain some of the weight I lost during the first trimester.
It was hard. Caring for a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old when I couldn’t get out of bed was rough on us all and I felt discouraged to the point of being mildly depressed because my physical state so deeply affects my emotional/mental state. Was it worth it? Of course. Beyond worth it. Gwen has brought such joy to her siblings and she is our delight. I look at her everyday and think, “I would do it all over again for you. I would do anything to have met you.” Because I’m pretty sure life is a thousand times better because she’s in it. I’m serious folks, she’s one fantastic kid.
But after her birth, Daniel and I discerned that my body and my mind needed a break from pregnancy. While in my ideal world, ecological breastfeeding would work for me like it does for many women to naturally space my pregnancies in the two years apart range, that’s not the world I live in. My fertility returns sometime between months 4-6 postpartum. Yes, I follow all the ecobreastfeeding rules. But it’s just how my body works. So, it was time to choose a method of NFP to learn.
For many folks, NFP is made more overwhelming by the complications of wonky postpartum/breastfeeding cycles. How am I going to learn my fertility signs when my postpartum body is giving me nothing close to a regular cycle?–is something I hear a lot. Well, it really is possible, although trickier than learning NFP when you’re not postpartum.
Friends of mine have had great luck learning Creighton and Billings postpartum, but we opted for Marquette because I was drawn to the black and whiteness of using the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor and because there are no NFP instructors locally (argh!) and it was nice being able to learn a method from the Marquette website. (While the monitor was created to help women wanting to conceive figure out ovulation and peak fertility, Marquette method also uses it to pinpoint those days in order to postpone pregnancy.)
I found Marquette to be pretty easy to learn and it took away anxiety during the postpartum days. And on the Marquette site you can ask a doctor a question and he will look at your chart and reply. Except for one extended season of abstinence during my 3rd month postpartum while my body was revving up and my fertility was returning, the seasons of abstinence really weren’t that bad. I mean, sure, abstinence is never something we’re real excited about but it hasn’t been impossible or miserable by any stretch of the imagination.
After following the monitor for a few months, I’m now able to discern some of my fertility symptoms that always manifest just before the monitor shows me that the hormone surge preceding ovulation is occurring. So it’s been helpful to have the monitor’s confirmation as I’m learning.
At this point, I would be interested to learn Creighton or Billings so that I’m less dependent on the monitor and I think those methods would also decrease the number of days that require abstinence for us which would be a yay.
I’ll also say that while following the Marquette postpartum/breastfeeding protocol has been working great for us, I do have a good friend who conceived while trying to postpone pregnancy using this method, so don’t misunderstand that I’m touting this method as the 100% successful method. It’s actually more like 97-99% correct use, 88-89% typical use.
The downside of the method is that there’s a hefty upfront cost of purchasing the monitor and a continued monthly cost for test sticks. But now that my cycles are closer to normal, a box of test sticks lasts me about three months. Anyhow, I thought I’d throw that out there since the method could be cost-prohibitive depending on your current budget.
I honestly would have preferred to spend that money being coached in a method like Creighton, but I would have had to do all my classes over Skype since there are no local instructors. One of my close friends is in the Creighton training program (yay!) so I plan to get trained by her when she completes her certification.
Our youngest, Gwen, will be two years old in May. Having these months to recover my health, improve my diet, take supplements, and get back into shape (as well as get a chance to breathe mentally and emotionally) have been a huge blessing to our family. Having the energy to strengthen my relationships with my two oldest kids after being physically distant for a few months due to the nausea/vomiting has also meant the world to me.
While we joyfully hope for more Stewart babies in the future, postponing another pregnancy for the past few months has given us the space to recover and recharge. So I am very grateful for a natural method of child spacing that honors my body, sexuality, and fertility and empowers me with information about how my body works.
Anyhow, that’s what NFP looks like for our family right now. I can’t say how long we’ll be postponing pregnancy because we kind of take it one month at a time. And were we to get pregnant today, the news would be met with joy, not disappointment. So, prayerful discernment continues. And I’ve got my monitor to help me figure out what my body is doing in the mean time.
If you practice NFP, did you find the postpartum/breastfeeding time to be difficult to navigate?
UPDATE: A few years after writing this, we have beautiful baby #4. I also have worked with a Marquette instructor which was super helpful in understanding more details of the method. And now we’re back to where I was when I wrote this post and postponing a future pregnancy (because my Hyperemesis Gravidarum–extreme nausea/vomiting requiring medical intervention–seems to be getting worse, not better with each pregnancy). Hope this is helpful to other families who are also discerning all of these things!
Thank you for sharing!! We have used the Creighton method all of our marriage and it has been a blessing for us. I am very lucky that my cycles are very “normal” and fertile signs are pretty obvious. I usually do not chart for the first 6-7 months Postpartum because I only have non-fertile signs and then usually start charting for my mental state around 7-8months PP but usually fertility does not return until I am done breastfeeding at 1yr +. I was initially drawn to Marquette as well due to it’s more black/white nature too, but those costs just kept me going back to Creighton Method! We love it!
I have read about, not tried, a fertility monitor called Daysy. It’s expensive at $350, but no charting required. Anyone else heard of this?
Thank you for this post. I am a 41 year old mom blessed with 2 children trying to discern the right NFP method. Creighton has proven unsuccessful for us due to severe prolapse of my pelvic floor from baby #1 (Our counselor thinks the mucus doesn’t move through my body like it should and created very few safe days :-(). I am looking at Daysy and Marquette. One site said that Daysy can confirm ovulation where Marquette can not. I am wondering if we should invest in both devices for confidence in the beginning. It’s so hard to trust. I’d love any more insights into Daysy. I also have a thyroid disorder (hypo) and wonder if that impact temperature readout. To complicate things, we could do Daysy and Marquette perfectly, but if the mucus is still present, I wonder if that means I am still fertile. Why does this have to be so hard?
Have you looked into specialized physiotherapy? I have been seeing a physiotherapist for pelvic floor issues because I need good pelvic floor strength to support a spinal problem. It has corrected my prolapse to a great degree! Not perfect yet but improvement is possible. Pelvic floor therapy is a specialization within the field of physiotherapy so you would want to find someone with that certification. At least, that’s the case here in Canada. There might be hope for you! (And it’s not just a matter of kegels).
lol we kind of hate post postpartum NFP….a lot. My body shows signs of trying to ovulate often so it kind of stinks. However, we are not ready for another baby just yet so we’re being super conservative. I don’t get my cycle back till about 14 months so that’s a long time of trying to figure things out. I think I’m finally getting the hang of it this time around though *crosses fingers*
If it makes you feel any better my fertility returns 6-8 *weeks* postpartum. And that was even with nursing twins while bed sharing, etc. Every body is so different but I would love it if I could be at least a smidgen more textbook. I also had horrible hyper emesis with each pregnancy. Pre our conversion we made the decision to have my tubes tied because we knew I couldn’t do another pregnancy (or birth, really, as those were very rough). Though it has weighed on us since converting it has also brought about a healthy dose of humility. Again, every body is so very different. We have to be understanding that fertility can also be a cross to bear. I hope that doesn’t sound too insensitive but it is what it is. Even with my tubal ligation I still am so afraid of getting pregnant again right now and not being able to care for myself or our five children. We would absolutely welcome another blessing but it would be a very very hard mountain to climb.
Love your openness to sharing your experience! We have found that Marquette was a lifesaver learning for us in the post-partum periods. We were originally trained in Billings, but my fertility issues are wonky enough that we found Marquette much clearer, more helpful & reassuring. I’m “lucky” in that my cycles have not come back until baby is only nursing 2x a day (so typically around 15 months) but this is tied to why we had infertility issues in the first place. So we know both sides of the equation, and NFP has helped us greatly with both. (FYI: a mom in a Catholic FB group gave me a great tip that soap.com sometimes runs 30% off specials that you can use to buy up to 3 boxes of test strips! I couldn’t believe how much more expensive they have gotten lately compared to when I used them after my 1st and 2nd pregnancies, so I was grateful for her $ saving tip.)
Thanks for that tip!
Great post! I always appreciate hearing about people’s experiences with NFP. The Marquette method sounds great for reducing anxiety. I always struggle with that when I’m newly postpartum.
I can’t believe Gwen is nearly two! I started following your blog right after my first son was born–and he’s two and a half, so I shouldn’t be surprised. How time flies! 🙂
thank you for sharing! We loved Creighton while preparing for marriage and hoping for our first and second, but we’ve been struggling with it postpartum because my cycles come back regardless of breastfeeding habits. We’re now expecting number 4 and while I’m happy to add another little one, we will have a LOT of little ones. Four, four and under! A tiny part of me wishes there was a bit more space between the babies. (I hate admitting that). Thank you for the recommendation for Marquette! I’ve toyed with the idea of using it, but balked at the cost and the idea of learning another method (despite the similarities) when I’m not sure of my postpartum cycle to begin with. But after this baby arrives, we’ll give it a go! I’d at least like an idea of my fertility again- I’m tired of feeling blind in that area! God bless you and your witness!
I really like hearing another family’s NFP experience! My husband and I teach and practice the Sympto-Thermal Method, and while I’ve always really liked it, it’s not typically my first recommendation to couples who are learning initially in the postpartum time. I got to learn when we were engaged and I had normal cycles, so discerning things postpartum was much easier. The Marquette Method seems like a great option – I recommended it to a friend a couple months ago for postpartum.
I’m actually in my first “real” postponing cycle since having our son 16 months ago. It’s kind of a bummer because we feel very strongly that we’re in a “whatever happens” season of life, but I needed a vaccine that doesn’t mix well with pregnancy.
I guess that’s part of the real beauty of this lifestyle, though! Each month can be exactly what we need.
We use Marquette too. I love it, especially during the postpartum period. I have constant mucus and dislike taking BBT, so it’s the perfect method for us. We’ve used it successfully to avoid during two postpartum periods now, and we’ve avoided successfully during regular cycles as well.
You answered my question JoAnna! My husband and I were trained in Creighton and have used it for 7 years, but I have constant mucus too, so it’s frequently tricky to read the signs. Sounds like Marquette might be useful for us. Thank you!
I also have continuous mucus, as well as some other atypical cycle “quirks” (short cycles, long periods, etc…). We got pregnant with baby #2 while trying to avoid using Creighton. Even my instructor couldn’t explain how it happened after looking at my charts. She is truly a gift from God! After that, we needed a method that would give us more peace of mind. We’ve been using Marquette for about a year now and I love it. I think it’ll come in handy during the post-partum period once we decide to have another kiddo also. I usually freak out during that time period because my fertility returns fast – within 3-4 months – despite breastfeeding!
Post partum charting is a struggle for us! Our current baby is 6 months, and we’ve been abstaining all of those months because my cycle is so wonky and gives us fertile signs all the time, even though my full cycle hasn’t returned yet. We do Creighton and have had success with spacing and with conceiving by simply following our chart. It was a great investment for us to learn the program! I must say though, I cant wait for my regular cycles to return so I have more of a “black and white” sign, as you say!
We were using Family of the Americas method and relying heavily on an instructor to chart pp, and it was still really difficult. I was lucky enough to get free online Skype training in Marquette and Creighton during that time as we were discerning changing methods, and while we loved the idea of Marquette we just couldn’t afford the monitor. But definitely if our circumstances change financially we will be opting for Marquette after this pregnancy!
Count me in with those who have been grateful for Marquette! I learned both Creighton and sympto-thermal and both prevented us from spacing as we had hoped. My first 5 babies were born one on top of the other and I was starting to panic and really feel like I was drowning. The cost of the test strips for Marquette is hard to swallow, but the piece of mind was 100% worth it. I just had baby #6 nine days ago, after a 3.5 year break that helped me regain my health and a grip on my parenting. She is such a joy and honestly, it gives me so much peace to know that during this postpartum year, I won’t have to constantly fear another pregnancy right out of the gate due to this method!
we use Marquette too and really like it for the most part, except for the expense. I only started cycling in January, when my baby was 19 months old, and thinks are pretty funky. We are fortunate because there’s a new Catholic women’s health clinic here that is NFP only. The doctor has the NaPro training. I’m actually going to see him next week because of how weird my cycles are right now. We’ve had to abstain since January.
(Abstaining for 3 months is not typical people! Don’t freak out! It doesn’t go like that for most people.) Anyway, we’re Hopi g that the doctor can help me get my cycles back to normal, that the temporary job my husband currently has will become a permanent one (prayers would be greatly appreciated!), and that by the time I hit the 2-year mark from my c-section in June, postponing won’t be necessary anymore.
Lots of prayers Grace!
Thank you so much! I’m very ready for this difficult employment season to end!
Weird. Most of my comment disappeared. Oh well. Lol
Thanks for sharing! I have looked at fertility monitors in the past and would really love to have one. I love your openness (and the openness of your readers) in sharing your struggles with NFP. I never originally planned on using NFP since my fiance (to be husband in May) will be in school until December of this year, but one day we just woke up and God had put it on our hearts to not use contraception once we’re married. We are very open to starting our family as soon as possible, but I worry about fertility after my first child. If I’m only 22 now and start my family, that leaves me lots and lots of fertile years and I don’t think I want 20 children. 😉 People so often talk about NFP like it’s so easy (my sister included) because their fertility signs are so obvious. I have regular cycles, but like your guest writer who wrote about her use of the Marquette method, my temperature and mucous fluctuate all over the place.
Postpartum NFP is HARD. I tried to learn the STM method (homestudy) after the birth of our 2nd baby, and ended up pregnant on my first ovulation when my son was around 6 months old. Total “user error”, but God blessed us with our only girl. After she was born we were terrified of our fertility and had a LONG period of abstinence. It was good for us spiritually, since we had contracepted during the first years of our marriage, but we didn’t look forward to doing that again after baby #4, but we managed. Finally, after baby #5, we used the Marquette Method, and that, by far was the best. I used it as a double check for my STM observations (mucous-only, really. I won’t get into all that, but we’ve found what works for us). Now I’m 12 weeks with baby #6, and we only had really had I “surprise” out of the bunch. All my boys were conceived being open to whatever God decided to bring our way. Our kids are 11, almost 9, 7 1/2, 4, and 21 months.
I love hearing people’s NFP stories. Ecological breastfeeding worked great for me, and I got my cycle back after Moses started sleeping through the night at almost a year old. We are in a state of transition right now as my husband finished grad school in December but still hasn’t found a permanent job, so we were loosely seeking to avoid for a few months and just started trying again. We still haven’t learned a specific method. I’m lucky in that my body is extremely easy to read by cervical mucus alone. But if conceiving again takes longer than we hope we will get more science-y with it. Praying that at least one more baby (if not several!) is God’s will for us!
We use the Creighton method. We live in Nebraska where there are many educators. My cycle is always very off (and different each month), so the breastfeeding time frame just required the same observations and we could not be sure on things. I did find it helpful to purchase ovulation sticks from Amazon. You can find them for super cheap. It might be a way for you and others to do NFP with a double check to determine the actual ovulation time period. If we followed the method strictly there would be many more days of abstinence. The double check with the test sticks is helpful.
Thanks for sharing your experience!
That’s a great idea! We have used creighton for years, but recently my progesterone has really dropped and its throwing off my signs, requiring me to have a smaller window then I used too. I know that I won’t be completely dry post peak anymore but I may have to look into ovulation sticks just to figure out where in the yellow stickers I should actually put those white babies 🙂
Thanks for sharing! We are also converts and didn’t ever take an NFP class. We didn’t even learn it until after our second baby was born 15 months after the first one. That was intense! Ecological breastfeeding worked for me with the second baby until he was a year old. I didn’t know about it with the first baby so my fertility returned at 5 months and then we conceived at 6 months Postpartum. After the second baby we learned and used the Sympto-Thermal Method…mostly. There are three signs you use for that one and we only do two of them but it has worked really well for us. I had one crazy month when my fertility was returning but other than that it has been very easy to chart and understand and there hasn’t been a lot of abstaining. If you are still getting up at night with a baby it might not work because you take your temperature every morning and need to have consistent sleep to do that. It worked for me even when my baby was waking up multiple times a night but a friend of mine had crazy temps when she got up only once a night. Depends on your body.
Tandem nursing a toddler and newborn couldn’t even extend my post-partum fertility longer than 5 months, so you’re not alone. Thanks for sharing your experiences! We’ve been using a sympto-thermal method since our marriage 17 years ago, and love it (knowing all the signs gives me a lot of flexibility during times of illness, changes in my cycle as I age, and post-partum craziness, etc — I just rely more heavily on the signs that are easiest to read when things are looking bizarre). One of the things I love about NFP in general is that with so many methods to choose from now, it’s easier to find something that works for your particular body, circumstances, and time of life.
We learned Creighton during marriage prep, and I loved it even though my instructor was a little worried because my cycles were so varied (some 28 days, some 50 days). We then had an oops! baby who’s a total blessing, and then my cycle came back infrequently at best around 2.5 months. I’m 10 months PP right now, and I was just researching Marquette the other day! It’s less frequently taught around here (I’m from NE) so your advice/experience is super helpful. We’re also TTA for a few more months so my body can heal (bad episiotomy and other less fun symptoms during delivery) so I think I’ll have to check it out further. Thank you for sharing your experience – it’s a tough subject to bring up sometimes!
My son is the same age as sweet little Gwen, and he’s my first. I had an extremely traumatic birth experience with him (planned homebirth turned emergency c-section with a whole slew of scary problems) and we were very serious about postponing pregnancy because we both needed time to recover physically, emotionally and spiritually from his birth. After his birth, I was so paranoid that I was seeing signs of returning fertility almost constantly that we abstained for several months. We finally learned creighton and it he been SO helpful!! Even with crazy breastfeeding cycles, I have never once doubted my fertility since learning creighton. I know it’s not that clear for everyone but for me the signs have been very obvious. It was so empowering to learn. I got my cycle back when Charlie was 16 months old and we started TTC again a few cycles later. We finally got a positive test this month. Charlie still breastfeeds a lot and I am serious about allowing him to self-wean and tandem nurse if that’s something he wants, but we were also very much wanting to give him a little sibling! I’m SO thankful for the creighton model especially now because without it I don’t know if we would have had the clarity needed to conceive another baby while breastfeeding!
We were trained in Family of the Americas method (which I think is basically Billings) at my OBGYN’s office. He has a couple of NFP instructors on staff, and his office knew how to “code” our classes so that insurance covered some of the cost. Other than the co-pays for those initial classes, our only cost is $5 once or twice a year for new charts/stickers. We can make an appointment with an instructor if ever we need a refresher or if things are just hard to figure out on our own. (Total dream situation, I know.)
We had about 6 months of NFP-ing under our belts before we got pregnant (like Haley in a whatever-happens-is-great phase of life). Our first baby is now 8 months old. My cycle returned at 6 months, sooner than I was hoping with ecological breastfeeding, but, thus far, I’ve found post-partum charting to be pretty straightforward, thankfully.
I was 33 when I heard of NFP it. After that first training session, I remember thinking HOW WAS I NEVER TAUGHT THIS?! How is EVERY young woman not given this information at puberty?!? It struck me as such a fundamental thing — to KNOW what my body is doing and how it works — yet it had never occurred to me that I could have that information.
I went to the OBGYN (a different one from above) at 19 complaining of irregular periods, and was not taught or shown or really asked anything — just given a 12-month prescription for oral contraceptives (which was refilled without discussion at every annual visit), and I was too naive at the time to question it.
To my friends, NFP seems kooky and primitive, maybe even downright nuts for a woman of my education and class. It seems less certain. It seems like more “work.” But they cannot understand without doing it how empowering it is to not be numbed-out and medicated but in sync with my body. To have the man who shares my body also know how it works … and to see respect for my body grow in him, a new level of respect that he simply wasn’t capable of harboring without such knowledge even though he is a good man. To have the opportunity to discern together every month, even when my signs are hard to figure out, versus having no thought at all, much less conversation, about our bodies and what we’re doing with them.
NFP is not always easy, but for those reasons it is forever worthwhile to me. I’ve done the other way, and I don’t ever want to go back to that. I really like Family of the Americas for its simplicity. It works for us for now. But I am prepared to learn different methods as my body changes. (So thanks, everyone, for sharing your stories because it’s all very informative! And thanks, Haley, for a forum in which to talk about these things!)
I absolutely agree with you in feeling like learning NFP gave me a whole new understanding of my body that every woman should have. And I am so amazed by everyone’s openness to share their stories! We used mucus alone, and it helped us avoid pregnancy and then conceive two beautiful children. After number two, we had a long period of no signs at all – which was very stressful. My doctor believes I moved straight from postpartum into early menopause (I am 46). I would love some insight into using NFP during menopause and perimenopause. I am not sure if we are ready at our ages for a third, although sometimes I think that would be a wonderful gift. Already I have been mistaken for grandma on the playground. 🙂 God is so amazing to have blessed me with my babies!
Yes- I did find the postpartum phase super difficult. We had a user failure with Creighton, resulting in our sweet baby boy, now almost 9 months old. This past cycle we started learning Marquette, because Creighton was telling me NOTHING and we were having to abstain completely for 8 months. 8 MONTHS! It was so disheartening, and it definitely didn’t feel like “God’s Will” to have this distance between my husband and I. However, I’m really hopeful that Marquette will help me identify peak. The first cycle it didn’t, but we shall see what happens in the second!
I’ve loved Marquette in many ways. It was so great to have set rules and I felt very comfortable following them during breastfeeding. The 10 day protocol, while more expensive from testing every day, was helpful in decreasing our abstinence. Our Baby #3 was conceived in the second cycle after return to fertility (intentionally) though I was lackadaisical about testing per the return to fertility instructions and she was conceived in a two day window that I neglected to reset and test so when I got a peak on the monitor that I thought was ovulation it was actually implantation! Sneaky baby. 🙂
I use Marquette Method now too. I learned STM, but had such a difficult time postpartum reading my signs of fertility!
I am thankful for the Marquette Method Facebook Group. I am postpartum and I never got a peak and went to menses. Luckily I knew how to read cervical mucus even though the monitor missed my peak. So, it is not always user error, but the method failing (does that sound right?). It makes my husband and I communicate even more and knowing that nothing is ever 100%.
I am happy more women are talking about NFP and I am learning more about my postpartum body/reg cycles.
I now utilize LH strips with the Marquette Method because of being Highs all the time and no peak, but menses.
I wish there was more talk about postpartum NFP and how important it is to talk with each other and our husbands. We have no control over our body’s fertility and that can be a hard concept in marriage.
Glad to hear you’ve been happy with NFP! I’ve gone from STM to Marquette to Creighton, and I *love* Creighton. It’s really cut down on the amount of abstinence necessary and there’s very minimal expense, after paying for the classes. You should definitely look into it once your friend is trained!
I’m on a lot of medication and one of them is birth control. Partly for mood stability (depresses most people, no idea why it agrees with me), and because it would be irresponsible to conceive on some of my medications, and it frees up the ability of my psychiatrist to do medication changes. That said when it was time to try to conceive I had no idea about anything. My SIL sent me Taking Charge of Your Fertility and its a wonderful book to help you understand what you should have been taught in the first place, help for conceiving, and NFP/spacing out your kids. It covers breastfeeding and menopause and using both cervical checks and bbt, and shortcuts once you get going. I do have super regular cycles and became pregnant the three times we’ve tried (middle was a miscarriage) but should I be in a position to have the luxury of NFP (the pill can feel like a trap as much as freedom) I would feel very comfortable with this book and no classes.
We learned sympto-thermal from the Couple to Couple League as part of our marriage prep. We liked the way CCL really focuses on making it about our shared fertility. We also love the method because you can “cross check” different signs, which is particularly helpful during postpartum times. After #1, it was a full 15 months before my fertility came back (at that point, only breastfeeding 3x-4x per day). If I had a nickel for every time someone told me “you know, you can get pregnant while nursing,” I would be rich! And probably less annoyed. 🙂 Fortunately, the transition after #1 wasn’t too murky and having multiple signs to check was helpful. I don’t remember the times of avoiding being too awful… but it’s been awhile now. Ask me once I start showing signs of fertility after #2, though, and I might be singing a different tune (it’s been about 14 months so far without any signs… I started charting a couple months ago just because I’m a nerd that way, not because we’re overly anxious to avoid). We’ve been blessed with two kiddos so far and look forward to what else God has in store for our family.
Thanks for posting your story and giving the rest of us a chance to chime in – I love the opportunity to hear about others’ experiences with NFP. (And, like a previous poster, I think all women should realize how their body works, whether or not the learn the nitty gritty of how to chart. It’s fascinating!)
I’m just like you in regards to a quick return to fertility even while following all the rules for ecological breastfeeding. I conceived #3 when #2 was three months old, without even a warning period! I used the Sympto-Thermal method and I taught myself from The Art of Natural Family Planning. I can see why an instructor would be nice but I don’t think it’s necessary. They had a home study kit that I used to practice. We have a space of six years from #3 to #and 3.5 years from #4 to #5.
We started out with Billings but it was not successful for us because my temp change is so minor. After baby #3 we switched to Creighton. We successfully avoided while I dealt with postpartum for what seemed an eternity. Then used it to conceive 4 more times but unfortunately lost 3 babies but ended up with twins! I like the ease of Creighton, travels well and is so simple. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Look into the Sympto-Thermal Method of NFP, taught by the Couple to Couple League (CCL). Classes are online or you can do the home study course, for only $175, including all the materials. That’s it. Plus there’s an online charting system and app. We also teach special classes just for women in feh postpartum period and the premenopausal period. Check out http://www.ccli.org. God bless!
http://taylormarshall.com/2015/04/joy-and-taylor-are-having-8th-baby.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+taylormarshall+%28Dr.+Taylor+Marshall+%7C+Canterbury+Tales%29Good post! Taylor Marshall was in my reader feed following yours! How funny 🙂
Thank you for this post. I am really struggling with PP NFP, too. Not sure if we can afford a monitor and test strips, but as I haven’t been taught another method, it would be ideal. I am having trouble getting set up with instructors in either method because of cost and time commitment so I am trying to teach myself. It’s kinda making me panic and I know my husband doesn’t trust NFP. It’s been hard on us as recent converts.
We started using Marqette with the Ovacue prior to becoming pregnant with #3, because #2 did not sleep longer than 1.5-2 hour stretches until nineteen months, so measuring BBT was nigh unto impossible with how often I was awakened, and my mucus has never been particularly helpful. O_o (That was definitely trying, since I became pregnant when he was about fifteen months old. -_-That was primarily because I was really bad about remembering to go on Ebay and order more sticks. *shifty*) I sold off my ClearBlue while pregnant with #3, with intentions to save up and invest in an OvaCue, which actually takes both oral and vaginal hormone readings, so gauge when ovulation is coming, AND confirm once it has come. And you don’t have to buy sticks! *happydance* I was blessed to be given one by a family that had used it to TTC ages ago (it’s the old one, which has a very basic display screen and doesn’t do all that fancy hooking-up-to-your-cell-phone stuff that the new ones do, but it’s functionally the same), so I started using that just a month ago. Ironically enough, when it started giving me “possible” (its three reading levels are “possible,” “high,” and “peak”) readings for several days in a row, I just assumed that it was wonky postpartum hormones and I couldn’t possibly actually be fertile yet. Heh. Suffice to say that led to a bit of panic while waiting to be able to do a pregnancy test, because my assumption about said “possible” readings meant that we came together the night before it decided to give me a “high” reading and imply that I was going to ovulate three days later. *nailbite* SO. I didn’t end up pregnant, but I spent some serious time in prayer about how in the WORLD could I handle a preschooler on the spectrum, a toddler, and Irish twins?!? *cough* Suffice to say that I now trust when Ovacue tells me that I have “possible” fertility. And I am loving that I don’t have to buy test sticks. *nod*
I should add that part of why I just assumed that I couldn’t -possibly- have returning fertility was that my AF didn’t return until 9mo pp and 12mo pp with my boys, and I was only 2mo pp when I started using the Ovacue. Then again, my daughter has this weird inclination to, like, actually sleep through the night. It’s weird. And nice. But even with ecological breastfeeding, that sleeping-through-the-night thing means that apparently my fertility is returning already, even though she has never had a pacifier, had a bottle ONCE (she was unimpressed), and we do some cosleeping (basically, she starts out the night in a packnplay by our bed, and when/if she wakes up, she comes to be to nurse and we all go back to sleep in the process)… and yet… apparently my fertility is returning. Meh.
I have been using the Marquette method without the Clearblue monitor (because it is crazy expensive). They have instructions for this on their website as well. We were trained in the sympto-thermal method, but postpartum it totally doesn’t work for us (the temperatures don’t mean anything if you are up three times a night).
I have found the Marquette method easy to use postpartum, so I highly recommend checking it out even if you have a tight budget (like we do). It has helped me get a better handle on my crazy sort-of fully breastfeeding (sometimes she sleeps for longer stretches at night) fertility signs.
We used STM prior to our first baby, but for postpartum NFP we decided to switch to Marquette too. Once my cycles normalize postpartum (about 6-8 months usually– I breastfeed but not ecologically), we do a combination of the two. I like still having the black-and-white monitor result, but watching temperature and other signs is both a nice confirmation and sometimes lets me use fewer test strips. (Plus I’m a medical geek and like seeing exactly what’s going on with all the different signs and symptoms.)
Thanks for sharing, I hadn’t heard of that method. We did the NFP course through our local centacare office but I didn’t find the lady very experienced. I did some research myself and found that the book ‘taking charge of your fertility ‘ to be fantastic, it has detailed photos of mucus. I find that’s my biggest sign, I also check my cervix and it’s a good sign for me too. We had a very close gap with our first two, 15 months, I thought I was safe with breastfeeding and hadn’t had a period yet but it came back quickly after my second and third, we had a 5 year gap then though!
Erin, if you depend a lot on mucus signs, Creighton might be for you- it’s based primarily on mucus signs. I also really (really really) liked the support of having a consultant!
Thanks for sharing! My husband and I have been struggling with infertility for over two years now despite being pretty diligent with our use of the sympto-thermal method of NFP to pinpoint the best time to conceive. We just recently began seeing a NaPro Technology certified obgyn for fertility testing and diagnosis and she asked us to switch from sympto-thermal charting to the Marquette method.
I will say, this method is WAY more simple than the other method we had been using! It’s also more forgiving of my inclination to press the snooze button on weekends. Hopefully (along with the other steps in our treatment plan) it will also bring us success so we can finally begin to grow our family.
I have 3 children, ages 4, 2 1/2, and 10 months. We used NFP to conceive/space (lol since mine are 18 months and 22 months apart, respectively) until the third was born. I’ve had 3 c-sections, and was scared to get pregnant again, so I used birth control for 7 months, knowing that it was against church teaching but thinking that I could deal with that. Well, God has really been working on my heart to be open to more children AND to go back to NFP, which I abandoned because it seemed like so much work to avoid for the next 15 years (I’m 33 and super-fertile). So- ditched the birth control, went to confession, and started charting again…I use the Marquette method which I love, especially for the postpartum/breastfeeding period. I lasted about a day trying to remember to take my temperature before getting out of bed in the morning (especially when getting up to nurse a baby at 5 am, etc.).:)
BTW- I LOVE posts on NFP because I have exactly one friend in real life that uses NFP, and it can feel lonely when you get to the 3+ kids mark without announcing to the world that you are “done.”
Yesssss that question. Ugh. I got it while expecting #3, and mine are 21 and 24 months apart. I’m just waiting for somebody to ask it in regard to the fact that “now you have a girl; are you done?” As if that was why we had another. Heck, I would have been perfectly content (and significantly less intimidated) to just be a mom to all boys!
But at least I am prepared the next time my crotchety old librarian comments that I need to get my husband a TV! “Hon, if watching television is better than having sex, you’re doing it wrong!” 😉
I rabbit-trailed. Ahem. I have NO local friends who use NFP, and only a couple online ones who do. It especially makes the rough days difficult, because I feel like if I vent to my friends who don’t understand why you would do NFP (we are Protestant), they’re inwardly going, “Well, maybe if you stopped having babies…”
I had dreadful pregnancies like yours too, all four times. 🙁 So, so hard. And my pregnancies got progressively worse, which was very depressing.
On topic, I charted my cycles for quite a few years, between #2 and #4 and was very successful with it. Got pregnant with #3 when we planned to and things were going great after her until I had the wonkiest cycle known to man and somehow got pregnant with #4 despite years of success at preventing pregnancy.
I hope your future pregnancies are better, somehow!
We’re weird. Protestant, open to life, and using Creighton. We used sympto-thermal and I had no issues with that… except that my charts showed that I wasn’t ovulating at all. And we needed to figure that out, especially because we started trying to conceive about 3 months in.
So we switched to Creighton, found how good it is to have a real person in our corner to support and encourage us, and have a NaPro who is okay with diagnosing us and then going at our pace (something our first doctor wasn’t good with).
We’re not struggling so much with timing, but we’re waffling on the decision as to whether our family is complete or not. How could we even begin to make that grand declaration? Our kids are awesome.
Our first baby was a sympto-thermal honeymoon baby and after that I pretty much gave up on NFP for a bit. Our second child came along 3 years later.
Ironically, it took me 19 months to conceive our 3rd child. Not only was the infertility emotionally painful, my body and cycles had gone haywire. I was charting but the doctors I was seeing didn’t really pay any attention to the charts. I finally conceived after surgery for Endo and self diagnosing my low progesterone. A NaPro practice opened in my city the same month I conceived and I was determined to fix my body and my fertility after the baby was born. Even if I never had another child, I didn’t want to continue feeling awful 2 weeks out of every month.
I started learning the Creighton Method when my 3rd baby was 5 months old and still breastfeeding. I am like you, in that my fertility tends to come back around 4 months even with ecological breastfeeding. I found the Creighton Method fairly simple to learn while breastfeeding. I double peak while breastfeeding which was sometimes indicated by sympto-thermal but is always indicated in the Creighton Method. I felt fairly confident in pinpointing my fertile and infertile days and only messed up 1 month (it didn’t result in pregnancy.)
The best thing about the Creighton Method for me is that it enabled me to work with my ob/gyn and diagnose my low progesterone/low estrogen that had been causing my awful PMS (and potentially my infertility as well). I started on HcG post-ovulation and felt normal for the first time in years. And…I am currently 7 weeks pregnant after only trying for 3 cycles! (Unrelated to NFP, I also get terribly sick during pregnancy and it has been MUCH more manageable so far. I’m not sure if it’s due to diet changes I made pre conception or possibly that my body is now used to a normal level of hormones or various other factors. Honestly, it’s lovely but kinda freaking me out!)
I plan to continue using the Creighton Method after this baby is born. I am a huge supporter of it because of all of the ways it can be used to delay pregnancy, achieve pregnancy and diagnose and treat fertility issues.
Lovely post! Thank you for sharing your personal story. Though I’m now terrified to get pregnant a third time.
My cycles returned at 4.5 months post partum, but I was learning Creighton postpartum and it looked like they were returning starting at 8 weeks. We had almost total abstinence required for about four months, then things got a little easier when cycles resumed.
I conceived a “method failure” when my son was 9 months old. Fortunately just weeks after my husband got a job offer! We would have chosen more spacing, but I’m happy now. Baby is due in two months. I’m planning to learn Billings with a long-distance instructor this summer. Fingers crossed for “success!”
Thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences. I think it can be super encouraging to hear not just the actual method, but the nitty-gritty of what it looks like to practice NFP in Real Life.
We’re Marquette users, too. (Sort of). Ecobreastfeeding worked well for us– almost too well. I didn’t regain fertility until I night-weaned my daughter at 23 months old. And then we had one of those fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants moments of thinking we should chance pregnancy. So, here I am, 9 weeks pregnant. Stoked about it, but also apprehensive because our daughter is super spirited and my husband is about to enter an intense phase of his career that will take him away from us for 80+ hours a week. Sigh.
Anyway, I don’t think I’ve ever commented before so I just wanted to say “hi” and thank you heartily for your blog. It’s ah-mazing. 🙂
Can anyone comment on the difference between the Clearblue “touchscreen” monitor and the one pictured in this post (and the marquette site)? I’m finding the touchscreen more available and less expensive. I’m wondering if the other is older and being phased out?
I just wanted to let you know that this post was very meaningful for me. In this whole reversion to Catholicism process, I’ve had this deep fear that becoming Catholic would involve somehow short changing myself. I am just starting to grasp the concept of sacrifice as a positive thing, a thing related to Christ, yes. A good thing. So you’ll have to bear with me as I learn! But at the same time, there is such a thin line between sacrificing in a way that is healthy/manageable, and sacrificing in a way that is deeply damaging. Your willingness to be upfront about the fact that you value self-care means a lot to me, that you wanted to space your children with intention while you gave your mind and body and little break. I truly haven’t heard much talk like this in the Catholic mama blogosphere (maybe I just haven’t come across it yet!) but it was very assuring to me. I love hearing that I could revert to Catholicism, use NFP, and still place value on my own physical and mental health. So thanks for being brave and sharing your truth, pal. Also the “training wheels” security offered by that clear blue monitor thingy PLUS Daniels posts relating sex to tomatoes might have my husband on board, too. Thanks to Daniel for speaking his language!
This was great, and certainly timely for me! I’m 6 weeks post-partum with my first, and just started looking into Marquette. We are trained in Creighton, but I’d like to augment it with the monitor/ method. We don’t want to wait too long, because we’re in our 30s, but I ended up with a C section and complicated recovery, so a little while would be prudent! Thanks for this post!
Perfect timing! One of the things on my mind has been what to do about NFP once my new baby is due (in about a month). This is baby number nine and the pregnancy was very hard and dangerous (long story!) and we want to have some extra assurance about infertile times. The last time I looked into fertility monitors (several years ago) I couldn’t find any helpful info at all. Thank you for sharing your own experience and the website for the Marquette method, I’ve never heard of it.
God bless,
Jessica
I’m so glad this post was on Catholic News Agency’s Women’s Blog so I could find this fantastic website! I will be engaged within the next few months, so in about a year or so I am going to have to start learning how to use NFP so I’m all set when I’m married. I had NO idea there were different methods and I’m sure I’ll learn them when we go for NFP training and what not but this was a good preview, so I can not be as confused!
As a 21-year old Catholic woman (living near NYC where NFP isn’t talked about a whole lot), I was hoping to stumble upon a blog or website with a younger, “hip,” woman (or couple) who I could relate to, practicing NFP and living out her faith, so thank you for this wonderful site! I look forward to visiting again and please keep me in your prayers as this next phase of my life starts!
Blessings,
Gigi
I love this post. My first pregnancy was nausea/vomiting the whole 9 months and while my second pregnancy was less traumatic, it did a number on my emotional/mental health. I can totally relate to all that you are saying. My husband and I took a sympto thermal class when I was 2 months postpartum with my second child. It was super helpful and the instructors were available to go over charts when we needed those extra eyes. We did this method for almost 3 years. I needed that time to recover and be there for my kids and husband. I’m now pregnant with my third and I think this is the worst pregnancy yet (what is it with the third?!). I’m so thankful for medications. They have brought me to a ‘functioning’ level but man it still has been hard. Lots to offer up for these precious babes and for women who have infertility issues. As you said, I would go through it all over again to have my two little girls. Same with this baby 🙂
Thank you for this post! I am about to deliver Baby 2, and begin my first round of real post- partum charting. We generally use the sympto-thermal method, but I think something a little more “black and white” might made this all far less stressful.
Love this post. We have used Marquette since we got married almost three years ago and I am a huge advocate for it. As a doctor, I like how scientific it is 🙂 It has been tricky postpartum for me since my cycles returned early and have been all over the place in terms of length (anywhere from 16 to 40 days) but I still think that Marquette is the best option postpartum. The monitor is expensive (especially with having to use more strips right now) but well worth it to us. And I agree that using the monitor makes it easier to discern some of the other fertility signs that go along with ovulation.
Thanks for sharing!
We use Marquette too and love it. After a lot of abstaining after our first, Marquette definitely helped with the PPD period after our second. It is expensive for PPD time, but now I use 7-9 sticks a month and that’s it! I love how easy it is, and how much it has helped my NFP anxiety during times we’re trying to avoid. It’s been a huge blessing in my life. Glad to see it’s working for you too!
Hello there! Cool post. I’m not married yet, but I’ll be married next year after a 2 year and a half engagement. 🙂 Obviously we abstain now, but I’m having mini-panic attacks because I pretty much grew up with the contraceptive mentality and it’s really hard for me, but my fiancé has always been a dedicated Catholic. His faith keeps me strong, but I’m really really afraid of a pregnancy right away. He’s still going to be in school and we really want the first year to be about ‘us’.
We learned the Sympto-Thermal method and we’re doing okay with it, but my mucus readings suck. I’m trying to learn the other methods, but I’m starting to get attracted to the Marquette method. Any thoughts?
Hi Tatiana! Congrats on your engagement. I do like Marquette for not having to worry about temp or mucus readings, but from what I understand, for most couples, less abstinence is required with STM or Creighton, so it might be worth getting a good foundation in one of those and then confirming with the monitor? I’m not an expert, though! I will say though, that I wish we hadn’t had “us” time before starting our family. If I had it to do over, I would not have waited the two years we did after marriage to get pregnant.
I totally understand that, but in our case we really do need “us” time to properly build the foundation we both want for our family. Everyone is different on what they want with their family and that’s fine. I’ll keep trying to look around until then. Obviously the point is to stay open to life, but we’re really working to avoid children given our circumstances at the moment. Thank you.
Also, thanks for the advice! I do like STM,but I’m afraid that the mucus is a little liar at times, but I do feel like I’m learning a lot about my body in the process, so that is a plus! Some people recommended certain books to help out with this. Marriage isn’t easy, but it’s all about finding the balance because it’s so worth it! 🙂
THANK YOU!
I have never read anything about NFP whilst breastfeeding (I am sure there’s a truck load of info out there), but this gives me really good insight! We have only been NFPing for 3 years, but praying about baby No.3 (who is not yet conceived), and was wondering how the NFP would work then.
So thank you, lovely!
Somehow I missed this post- glad you reposted in the “Year in Review” post.
Thanks for sharing! Very brave of you since I know people can be very judgmental, but you are right- it is so helpful to newcomers to NFP to hear others’ journey through NFP. I have spent many hours researching but the best research is talking to other NFP couples. so THANK YOU!
Thank you for mentioning the part about how you can’t rely on ecological breastfeeding to space pregnancies. I can’t either, and I’ll be honest, this is something that drives me a little crazy about the NFP community. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “it’s SO easy to space your children with ecological breastfeeding! Any woman can do it!” No, not every woman can. Despite following all the EB rules myself (exclusively breastfeeding, no bottles or pacis, no feeding schedule, constantly babywearing and co-sleeping), my period returns anywhere between two and four months postpartum. I have a very serious condition that will require my husband and I to TTA indefinitely after this baby is born (I’m pregnant with number four), and I’m very fortunate that a close friend of mine is a certified Creighton instructor. I’ll be taking classes with her as soon as possible!
Thanks for this post, and many prayers for you and your family. <3
We tried the Tru Blu. I don’t know if my hormones are imbalanced or what, but it never recorded a surge, even after 3 cycles! 🙁 Sad because it would ideally be so low maintenance.
A Baylor Catholic alumna Heather Turner teaches Billings online in the Madison, WI diocese. Not sure how many openings she has.